Everything Isn't a Damn Meeting!

Globally, the pandemic forced the world of employment to adapt itself digitally prepared or not. In no small order, employees collected company equipment creating makeshift offices, a definite win for the cubicle community, utilizing any available space at home (can we say bedroom closet, office for one) with split-second timing. For that, everyone deserves a round of applause.

Sure, there were hiccups in the beginning. Who won't look back fondly on toddlers embarrassing their parents, half-naked spouses sauntering through team meetings, and none of us were exempt from those hot mic conversations leaving several colleagues side-eyeing our at-home activities?

Eventually, it all worked out. Like kids, we finally connected with our clique, finding our rhythm.

Cue the sourpuss!

If the widespread panic, an unpredictable end to the pandemic, or deluge of misinformation weren't enough, remote employees had to handle the sulking egos of certain stringent corporations down to horrible bosses previously successful in countering workplace expansion in this form, now left with zero options but to allow it.

Remote work necessitates a different method of quantifying work output. We get that. While it can be a headache for anyone managing workflow, imagine what it's like for the workers. Yes, we've all learned to compromise. Remember those sulkers we previously spoke about? Well, this is for/about them. Revenge became a dish best served often and for no damn reason morphing into drumroll please virtual meetings.

Oh, the pettiness of it all. You know I'm not lying. For some of us, everything became a meeting. A meeting to plan a meeting, for a meeting became a freaking meeting. I'm not one to tell my colleagues how to do their job, but in this instance, I feel confident standing on my soapbox, taking it for the team. ENOUGH ALREADY! EVERYTHING ISN'T A DAMN MEETING.

Let me repeat that for my friends with the cheap seats. Dear management, every time you feel the need to see if your staff is working you don't need to call an impromptu meeting. It wastes time while demonstrating your lack of tracking productivity skills (there's a clean-up needed on aisle middle management). Please, familiarize yourself with this phrase, fix it and forget it. If there are slackers, performance appraisals and no bonuses will clear that right up.

So, let the thegreatborrower give a quick refresh.

There are three categories of meeting groupings.:

Day-to-Day (One-on-One, Status/Action, and Qtrly.)

Goal/Objective (Planning, Problem-Solving, and Decision-Making)

Knowledge (Gather, Connect, Train, Test, and Resolve)

Don't get me started on the eight-room setups for physical meetings. Check, please, LOL!

As you can see, meetings have a purpose, aims, and goals. Using this method to quantify an employee's time management and work progress or completion by hypervigilance is a poor assessment option. Can we say piss poor management technique...?

For all employees caught in this web of pettiness.

When you hear meeting in five. Breathe, laugh to yourself, and remember it's killing them (the management that hates remote/virtual work) inside. You've been home for almost two years and possibly never returning as the doors of virtuality in the employment world is opening faster than the doors to Krispy Kreme when the red lights on.

Anyhoo, gotta go. I hear the sound of a large corporation need my Employee Engagement superpowers.